If you find yourself asking any of the above, then I will give you some answers below – if you already know why, but are wondering, why be coached by James @ Purpose Bridge – that’s a different article that you can read here.
Coaching is an act of love, an act of love for yourself; the same as any act of discovery that you commit to as part of your life long learning goals. Just like starting exercise, yoga, meditation or changing your diet to a cleaner, healthy life style – by choosing to have a coach work with you, you are choosing to realize your own potential and just as important, to get out of the way of your own success and happiness. By getting out of the way – what I mean is that we build a reality from what we observe and over time we build realities that don’t serve us – we tell our selves that we can’t do things – if you say you can’t, then you definitely won’t.
Coaching is not therapy – while many find coaching therapeutic, that is a different thing, and you should approach your coaching journey with a clear, forward looking goal: I want to get a new job, get a promotion, find a life partner, be happy.
Your coach will be “in your corner” sometimes standing shoulder to shoulder with you, standing in your shoes and giving you a different perspective or tools to help you make the choices that will get you to your goals. They will also be prepared to challenge you on what your goals are, whether you really do want the things you think you want, or if there may be a different interpretation of what drives you toward some articulation of a goal – but they are going to be on your side – committed to your achieving your potential.
Perhaps the first part of the journey, as it has been for many of my clients, is an understanding that we each deserve and have earned the focus of a coach. In many cultures current and past – there were informal and formal mentors from early childhood, through teenage and beyond; maybe in the form of community groups like Girl Guides, Church all the way through to apprenticeships (in my own culture) and you will recognize similar constructs from your own. These are harder to connect with in post globalization lives and we move around and travel so much, invest heavily in social media with it’s bias for judgment over true community. This has lead to a situation where we find it harder to recognize our need and how natural a need we have. I spent 13 years with Microsoft working in Europe and Asia, mentoring was a shining star in the values of the company, but even at it’s best, tended to be more of a career and talent management exercise and at it’s worst a toxic network of favorites and power brokage. True manager-coaches invested in another’s success are rare and it was only when I looked outside the company that I found true value.
Finally, where to start? Ask yourself the simplest form of this question you can – what do I want?
If you struggle to answer this – start there, any good coach will lead you to the answers.
If you can write down one or two sentences – start there and in your first session be prepared to say what it is that you want. You have just taken the first step to getting it!
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